dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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