got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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