I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
