after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
