I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
