the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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