I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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