its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
