I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
