Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
