google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize