Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize