Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
