I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
