I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
