I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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