My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
