I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
