I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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