yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
