I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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