Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
