hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
