another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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