the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
