grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
