There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
