Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize