Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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