apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
