Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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