A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
