I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize