He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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