i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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