Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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