i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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