dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
