yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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