our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
