you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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