We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize