this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
