He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you traded sex for a burrito?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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