toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
