yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
