real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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