You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
