note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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