He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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