best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
