She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize