I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
