His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
