I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
