dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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