so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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