if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
