I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
